Not perfect

The church pew digs into my back making me rearrange myself. The pews in front of me are filled with kids of all ages. Laughter bounces off the walls as someone cracks a joke. A paper airplane flies over my head and a little boy chases after it. I listen to the boys boast about their achievement in video games, and girls chatter about the latest music, and clothes. Someone looks back and notices me in my pew.Offering a small smile I acknowledge him and go back to my homework. The TV is turned on. 
Heads shot up and everyone turns to face the screen. Silence echoes through the room. 

The entertainment is over and I walk down stairs to the kitchen. The older boys follow me down the steps for audition callbacks. Half of them look revealed that it's almost over and the other half look they just ate a frog. They head down to the basement with anxiousness and dread. I settle into my new study spot: another church pew. A little person comes over and sits next to me, smiling and watching me  type. She gets bored and flits away to her mom. Distraction enters my mind and I listen to the mom's conversations: hamburgers, broken arms, auditions, movies, teens, and purses. They notice me and smile.

The kids grow loud and barrel down the steps devouring the food in the kitchen. Leaving my pew, I head over and grab food before it's all consumed. The boys are back from call backs and look relieved. The noise in the room increases and I struggle to hear the conversations in the circles around me. A loud rhythmic clapping booms over the noise, the chatter stops and hands reply in unison to the beat. “Everyone one in the foyer for games in five!” Leah announces after getting their attention. The kids know that when she says, “five minutes” that she really wants you there in three minutes and expects you to be sitting down and quite. Although the kids know this they rarely remember. Leah claps again and they reply like before. It's been five minutes and nobody has moved. They rush to the foyer and hastily sit down. “I'm going to break everyone into five groups. I'll count you off and go 
where I point.” she announces. Murmuring runs through the group. They are divided and Leah passes out five different pieces of paper. I head over to the smallest group, standing next to them overseeing what they have to do I'm noticed with the familiar “Why are you here?” from one of my friends. Deciding to go with an easy answer rather than the long one, I reply,

“I just got off work"

His eyebrows furrow and I laugh. I move over and sit down next to two new girls.

I wrote this down during the last purity ring meeting. Choosing to do free-lance writing rather than study my homework. It's different going there now. I'm viewed as an adult now, and it's strange. I have the constant attention of little girls running to me and younger teen girls looking up to me.  I enjoy it and yet the pressure of it feels as if it could easily crush me. They notice who I stand next to and sit with. They watch how I treat young men, if I answer them with disrespect or treat them like a brother in Christ. They pick up on how I treat my Mom and my little sister. What I've learned though is that even though there is pressure, I would never pass it up. To be in that positions for these girls, it's too great to pass up. I love showing up at Purity Ring and knowing that something I might do that day could result in these girls to grow closer in Christ. 

 Ephesians 5:1-2

 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

~Rachel