Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Self Worth

 This has been a topic specifically written for women, has been weighing heavy on my heart. I pray that it comes across clear and precise and that you are able to take something out of it.

    The world has been telling young girls/women that we have to look and act like such in order to stand out and gain a man's attention. And we as women have been listening and paying close attention to what the world is whispering in our ears. I honestly find this kind of ironic because when we dress in the latest styles and act a certain way we aren't catching (the average) man's attention. We're catching other women's attention. From what I've gathered from my brother in law, brother and some of my guy friends, they hardly notice (if at all) if you're wearing the latest shade of lipstick, donning the most recent pair of uggs, or have your hair styled perfectly. I'm not talking about your husband, boyfriend, or fiance; they are important men in your life and they should notice! I'm talking about your average Joe, the guy you walk by in Walmart or in the class hallway.

     First day of classes and I decided to ditch my tall brown boots for my warm bogs. (In case you don't know what they are: picture heavy duty rubber boots that clunk when you walk) As well as pulling on my warm, oversized hoody instead of the original outfit I had planned. I figured warmth was better than dressing,"cute" seeing that we had accumulated two feet of snow in 48 hours. In the first class of the semester the professor likes to make everyone introduce their self. In the 30 seconds of saying my name and sharing a bit about myself I cannot tell you how many young women gave me the up-down. Yet, the men in the class albeit there were only four out of twenty-two just listened and made occasional eye contact. 

     Women are such.. Hypocrites. I know both male and female are but it seems to me that women are incredibly talented at it. And that's coming from me, a young woman myself! Why do we feel like we have to impress the other people around us? What has our outward appearance come to? I'm pointing fingers at myself as much as I am the next girl. I've succumbed to looking and acting the part so much that I don't remember who I am some days. When a woman scrutinizes the way I look it makes me feel like I'm the weakest and most insignificant person around, and yet I turn around and do it to the next girl that walks by.  Why do we do this? Why do we constantly judge, scrutinize, and analyze what other people are doing?

Now, please realize I'm not bashing the women that enjoy noticing what other girls are wearing because I do realize that is a thing.  But if you're obviously going to analyze someones outfit make sure you compliment them! Otherwise the women that is being looked at will wonder whats wrong! I mean seriously if I was going to give you a complete top to bottom-good-long-stare you're going to wonder what's wrong with your hair, whether your shirt is stained, jeans are ripped, etc. and you will dwell on that for a long time. But if I were to look at what you're wearing and then compliment you on some aspect of it you'll float on cloud nine for a couple minutes.

We judge becuase we are insecure and we are insecure becuase we derive our worth from the people around us. We are insecure because we are not trusting, relying, and seeking the one who created our very being. We as women seem to have a hard time accepting who we are. There is always something that we will be complaining about, whether it's a bad hair day, our jeans are, "suddenly" too small, or our conditioner didn't rinse. We are imperfect human beings created by a perfect God. A God that see's you as a precious child and holds you in the palm of his hand. He adores you. Utterly adores you and not just the parts that you actually like. He adores the stretch marks on your thighs, your dimples, the freckles, and scars on your face. Every aspect of your body He loves and adores. If I were to take something that you created and loved and told you everything that was wrong with it you would be crushed. So when we take our bodies and complain, destroy, and hate them it deeply saddens our creator.

It goes hand in hand with how we judge, scrutinize, and belittle a woman for what she looks like/is wearing. We are instructed by God to, "do not judge, or you too will be judge" and not only that we will be judged by God in the, "manner that we judge". So all around we are hurting and causing sorrow to other women and our creator by the actions that we choose. How you view yourself and the way you view others will be taken into account by God, and that isn't something to be taken lightly..

Dear one, stop looking for the affirmations of the world. It will get you nowhere and you'll only end up feeling worthless. Take your worth from Him because He is the only one that will give you the truth.

In Him,

Monday, January 18, 2016

Everyday Life

Much has happened since I last wrote.

Guatemala was incredible, and I cannot wait to go back.

Thanksgiving came and went with a table full of family.

I finished the semester of 19 credits/6 classes, and I'm happy to say I'm still alive.

Christmas was wonderful with time spent with family and friends.

2015 ended.

I changed my degree( ya I know... again)

College started back up this week.

   In the past four weeks as I waited for classes to start up again I was restless and didn't know what to do half the time. With my job being at the college it also meant I had four weeks off work as well. You might say, "4 weeks off and she's complaining about it?!" Well, that is partially true, there were days that I didn't want to do anything but curl up in my bed and sleep, after all I deserved it right? College isn't easy, finals aren't easy, quizzes, tests, exams aren't, "easy". I worked my butt off and still managed to get a couple B's. At the start of break I was determined to only sleep in on Fridays and Saturdays. Monday rolled around and I quickly shut my alarm off and fell back asleep waking up two hours later. I shrugged if off to the 19 credit semester and continued this pattern for the better part of three weeks. In short, I sleep too much. I could try to blame it on the hypothyroidism and how it causes lethargy/depressions/etc but I've done that for far too long. In all honesty I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at. My break was long and had too many days of sleeping in. I got little accomplished and I am still the same Rachel as I was before.

At the beginning of Christmas break I was determined to use the four weeks to become someone that was more happy, cheerful, and over all a better person. I quickly realized on the long cold winter days it was going to take more than just waking up at a decent time, showering, cleaning the house, and staying off Facebook. My lack of productivity after an intense semester was driving me bonkers. It took me far too long to realize that what I needed to pursue was Him and not a myriad of things to keep me busy. I regret not spending those long afternoons wrapped up in His word, learning more about Him... If I had to look back at those three weeks and tell you what I accomplished the list would be short and mainly consist of scrolling through Facebook (don't worry i won't start an anti fb rant in "this" blog).  Once I finally realized that I couldn't derive my joy/happiness/cheerfulness/ etc. on what I did in a day I was able to focus on what was important rather than continuing to complain(though that still happened on occasion, just ask my little sister). 

My point is that the contents of our day should not determine our attitude, but rather how we pursue and talk to Him throughout the day should determine it. When we focus our attention on the creator of that day it builds up our joy.  Long days are rough, and ones that are gloomy and raining/snowing are even worse. But when we look to Him and give Him the day that He created we gain an incredible Joy that only comes from Him. Next time there's a day that you can't seem to get through talk to Him about it, tell Him what's on your heart and mind. He wants nothing more than to be apart of your everyday life.

In Him,