Friday, January 24, 2014

An Avalanche

 These two past weeks have brought many surprises, some wanted and some not so much. God has challenged me a lot. The biggest blow: finding out a friend has cancer.

It happens when we least expect it, and it has the most diverse affects. People all react differently when they find out they have cancer: some rejoice in it knowing that God has a plan, others sulk and get incredibly depressed, and some treat it like a boxing match; like something that has to be beaten. This young man responded with saying that God has a plan and that He knows what He's doing.
"Where are you?" I texted a friend and waited for a response, he responded with walking around the corner smirking. We sat down and my phone went off, "That's odd" I thought, "I thought I put it on silent." I looked down at the text and quickly opened it.

I starred at my phone reading the text I had received. My eyes scanned over it 10 times and my mind tried to wrap around the fact of what I just read, " I have Non Hodgkins Lymphoma." I quickly passed it over to my friend and let him read it. He sighed. "That makes the second person in one month." I responded. A deep wave of sympathy and regret ran over me.

I was at the college for the rest of the day, trying my hardest to act like nothing had happened. 9:30 hit and I was finally home. I threw my backpack on the end of my bed where it landed with a loud thud, matching the beating of my heavy heart. Sitting down on my bed I rested my head in my clenched fists, taking everything in: the first week of classes, stress at work, decisions about college, and now another person in my life with cancer. "Why, Abba?" I begged, "Why did this have to happen again?" 

Cancer brings back so many hurtful memories. They cascaded over me like an avalanche. A small voice reminds me that He is sovereign, mighty, and that everything is in His hands. There is nothing that I can do, but pray. Lifting my voice to Him and let Him do His will. God is in control no matter what happens, even in the least expected He knows what He's doing. Test results, unexpected plans, bad weeks, and heavy emotions can't change what He'll do in the end.

Yesterday was a thing of the past, I could look back at all the things I've done wrong, or I could  look to the future and know that God has given me a second chance. A chance to help the people around me that are having to deal with this horrible disease. And knowing without a doubt that God holds everything in His hands.