Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Fragmented Sentences

I blinked and summer is over. This summer held so many wonderful memories, and it also held memories that I never wanted to come so quickly. Though there is pain and grief I know that my Saviour will bring joy in the morning.

The summer started off after my graduation from North Central Michigan College.  (That was the easy part.) The college allowed me to walk despite the fact that I wouldn't be graduated until the end of summer because I was two credits short. So I enrolled in a summer class to cover those two dreaded credits,and it was probably the most boring and tedious one of them all. "Administrations and Programs  for Early Childhood" Blech, right?

And... I'm still the shortest even with the silly hat!

   So you get the picture. Graduation: Done(sorta). Summer Class: Under Progress. Since the class was online I didn't have to worry with it interfering with my summer job. Though life happened as it always does and I was let go early(like three months early) from my job. Leaving me almost job less at the start of summer. I say almost because I still had a part time job working in Bay View as a personal gardener/landscaper for a lady I met through my job at the Garden Center.

So I was taking an online class that is close to miserable, and now I'm without a source of income. 

    In mid-June Cancer once again struck its head, making me hate the disease even more.  There were days that I just wanted to throw everything away and give up. I didn't have a job, and everything felt like it was crashing down. By my standards I was a failure. Then driving home one day I heard, "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten, and as pathetic as it sounds God used a secular song to get my head back on straight. So getting myself back into gear I advertised my business and ended up with five houses that I worked for in Bay View, and in the end doing financially better than I was at my old job. 
Uncle Dan with my older sister, Hannah in 1994(?)

   Then July 18th happened, two days after my 20th birthday, Uncle Dan passed away to cancer.(I wrote about it here) It came as a shock to us all. Unlike the last death that cancer claimed this time there was a great presence of Gods peace rather than hatred and chaos. Though God gave us peace and we grew closer as a family, though that still didn't make the actual pain of death go away.

   I don't know if you've ever been through the death of a family member but it's a feeling that never goes away. Think of it like sitting on the beach and the waves are lapping at your toes, you're fine for a few moments and then the tide rolls in drenching you in a wave of painful emotions. There are days when that ocean is as still as glass, and other days when there's vast under current threatening to pull you under. The only thing that will help you stand back up and dry off  is letting Jesus hold you close drawing you out of the raging waters and set you back up on your feet.

 After July was over nothing too significant happened in August, we didn't participate in the annual Emmet County Fair due to a sick horse. Before we knew it, it was September we were walking across the mackinaw bridge on Labor Day with our friends, Jay and Cindy.
Assoc. of General Studies

It's now October and I'm taking 18 credits at NCMC. I finally have my diploma!!!! And life is back to my new normal. (Yay, for fragmented sentences!) I still miss my uncle terribly and there are still days when I get caught in the undercurrent of emotions. But this summer isn't one that I would trade for the world. God placed challenges in my life, and He showed me how to rely on his mercies every day. For that I will praise Him and continue to live the life that He blessed me with. 

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;great is thy faithfulness."  Lam 3:22-23

1 comment:

  1. Rachel honey, you write so well. I love you, fragmented sentences and all. Your heart shines through, even in your pain, even when big waves crash and tiny ones tickle your toes. I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!